marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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