Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
