allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Couch. On fire.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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