went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
