super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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