..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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