I wanna bring you to show and tell
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
