Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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