What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
