We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
How's work?
Spinning.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
