You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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