We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
