I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
did you just send me my own nude
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
