If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
