i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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