ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
