maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
