S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
