So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
