I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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