This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
