Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
