sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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