it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
