before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You were trust falling into bushes
You are a genius and a whore.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
