If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
