so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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