win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
