well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
