"it" just moved
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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