Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
