I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
