I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
