Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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