At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
