How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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