I can tuck mytits in my pants
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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