That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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