haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
