You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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