just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
