when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
