He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
