Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
