I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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