billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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