You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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