Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Is it penis luge time yet?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
