Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
