i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
