Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
