I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
When are your genitals available?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
