I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
